Sometimes You Feel Like A Nut

July 7, 2005 

You know that liberals have: (1) surrendered to the reality that they are clueless and (2) are in the final tremors of their swan song when left-wing icons like Paul Krugman launch attacks against domestic food conspiracies.  Krugman’s investigative acumen uncovered a vast right-wing conspiracy within The Center for Consumer Freedom.  In the early stages of his Trickle Gate, he “outs” Coca-Cola, Wendy's and Tyson Foods as villains who “are blocking efforts to help America's children”. 

Americans, including Krugman, are getting fat and somebody (other than their gluttonous mouths) have to be blamed...and hopefully sued.  With a mind as lazy as his self-described “overweight” body, Krugman waddles down the liberal food chain of atrocities from smoke and guns, to butter.  Apparently, this “economist” should spend more time counting beans than eating them. 

Liberals always need a “cause” because they just can’t keep their noses out of your business.  And, their cure-alls are mostly hair-brained schemes that: rob you of liberty; cost you more money and only make things worse. 

“Gun control” is a great example of this.  By banning “assault weapons”, the liberals: stripped law abiding citizens of Second Amendment rights; cost taxpayers a fortune in compliance regulations and whistled Dixie as the armed street gang population exponentially grew to become a potential national security threat.  Oh...liberals did keep pressing for harsher punishments for legal gun owners while demanding more “rehabilitation” for the street thugs killing grandmothers with stolen weapons. 

Better yet is the $206 billion tobacco settlement received by 46 states.  Remember that smoking was so costly to state healthcare systems, and bad for your health, that big government (lead by the liberals) had to sue the tobacco industry.   

Today, according to the Investor Responsibility Research Center, “seven states--Texas, Connecticut, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Utah, and West Virginia--had taken millions of dollars intended to reimburse them for tobacco-related health expenditures and invested the funds in tobacco companies.”  In fact, the General Accounting Office estimates that only 7% of the settlement is being used for smoking prevention programs.  The rest is financing pork in the general funds of spending-addicted state governments. 

Bob Levy, a senior fellow at the Cato Institute, finds that "the states get their money only if the tobacco companies are healthy and making lots of money...(the settlement is) a collusion between the states and the tobacco companies."  Of course the politicians get billions and the lawyers made billions, but mostly lower income stiffs are footing the bill. 

Krugman’s “fat fascination” springs from his concern that “obesity...plays an important role in health care costs.”  In the spirit of true liberalism, Krugman wishes to save us from ourselves because “obesity clearly increases the risks of heart disease, diabetes, back problems and more.”  While ignoring things like recently paroled child molesters and the mega-boondoggle “war on poverty”, Krugman becomes a born-again fiscal tightwad because “the cost of treating these weight-related diseases is an important factor in rising health care spending.” 

With the lack of fact-checking worthy of a liberal, Krugman rambles on about nonsense like “Bills that would require schools to...remove vending machines selling sweets and soda.”  We’ve been through this before, but just once more...soda is less fattening than almost any fruit juice on the market.  Coca-Cola rings in at 104 calories per cup...unsweetened orange juice at 122.  Just check the facts. 

But let’s give Krugman his due.  America is getting fat and it’s a capitalistic conspiracy invented by the food industry.  But...what to do? 

According to a University of Houston study, “Obesity disproportionately burdens low-income, ethnic minority populations.”  Apparently people eat more junk food in lower income neighborhoods.   

Since liberals love social reengineering, the first shot in the Battle of the Bulge should be the “Urban Doritos Cessation Act”.  Henceforth, anything that looks like a Dorito, tastes as good as a Dorito or comes in jumbo-portion packaging can no longer be sold to low-income ethenic minority populations living in major urban areas.  We aren’t trying to ban Doritos...just control them for your own good. 

Next, I would urge Paul; Krugman to petition all New York Times employees to urge Pinch Sulzberger to no longer accept any advertising revenue from any food manufacturer that might entice a fat person to eat.  This would include food coupons readily available in the New York Times owned Gainesville Sun.  I did notice that the Gainesville Sun is pushing coupons for Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls.  At 150 calories per tidbit...these things make Coke look like a diet drink. 

And, I want to make especially sure that when The New York Times Co. launches its first black newspaper, The Gainesville Guardian, on Aug. 24...they accept no advertising revenue from any junk food processors.  And this means no KFC, no McDonald's and no Orange Crush. But, we know that the Times would never help push unhealthy food to low-income people just to pump up ad revenue...would they? 

Oh...just one more thing.  When Krugman asks “whether big companies will have a free hand in their efforts to get children into the habit of eating food that's bad for them,” in mean-hearted conservative fashion, I was just wondering, “Aren’t there any parents around?”  Somehow most of us will make it through life without Paul Krugman protecting us from ourselves.  And...Thank God.


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