Liberals in the Twilight Zone

January 13, 2005 

The nomination of Alberto Gonzales for U.S. Attorney General once again proves that liberals are pathological schizophrenics.  Or...they are scripted by Rod Serling. 

Logic would make you think that Teddy Kennedy would be as adverse to aqueous debate as Bill Clinton should be to the color blue.  But the joy of being crazy is never realizing you are crazy. 

During the recent U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee hearing on the nomination of Alberto Gonzales, Kennedy prattled on about water sports.  Kennedy got into a lather because Gonzales “raised no objections” interrogation techniques that, “...included the threat of live burial and...(being) forcibly pushed under water...and made to believe he (she?) might drown.”  Hey Teddy, you’re on a slippery bridge with that line of questioning. 

Needless to say that Kennedy failed to mention how he pioneered the technology of subaquatic “live burial”.  If the “water-boarding” interrogation of terrorists for a few hours is torture, what do you call the ten hours that Mary Jo Kopechne remained submerged while Teddy sobered-up? 

With doubts about Gonzales, Kennedy lamented that he was, “...concerned...about his commitment to the rule of law.”  And Teddy knows about the rule of law.  If you’re the privileged son of a rich bootlegger (versus the son of Mexican migrant workers), you pay your debt to society with a one year suspension of your driver’s license.  As of this writing, Teddy’s chauffer is doing fine. 

This would be laughable if it wasn’t so true. 

And now that we’re laughing, I present to you...Maureen Dowd.  In the zone with other liberal loonies, Dowd promotes the tedious premise that Gonzales single-handedly “...fostered the atmosphere that led to disgusting scandals in Abu Ghraib and Guantánamo.”   

The “infamous” Gonzales memo was a conclusion of Justice Department opinions that: (1) “Al Qaeda could not be a party to the (Geneva) convention because it is not a state”; (2) “The Taliban were covered by the treaty but they did not qualify as prisoners of war under the terms of the treaty”; and (3) “Both the United States and Iraq are parties to the Geneva conventions and the United States recognizes that these treaties are binding in the war for the liberation of Iraq.” 

The claim that Gonzales fostered anything in Iraq (other than the handicap of a one-sided adherence to the Geneva Conventions) is spurious.  Abu Ghraib (to the exclusion of Dowd’s logic) is in Iraq.  The “abuses” that occurred can be attributed to many reasons, but not the Gonzales memo.  Personally, I think that liberal entertainment, the money-hungry union hacks at the National Education “Association” and bad parenting are more responsible for people like Lynndie England et al than Alberto Gonzales. 

But the Dowd Zone is a land of masochism...Let’s improve America by destroying America.  The liberals are obsessed by the absurd conclusion that Gonzales endangered American troops.  Their illogic is a cockamamie belief that if the U.S. does not honor the Geneva Conventions in the spirit of Mother Teresa, then the terrorists will not afford similar treatment to American POW’s.   

Long before anybody ever heard of Abu Ghraib, Army Pfc. Jessica Lynch was brutally sodomized by Iraqi “regulars” during a three to four hour period when Lynch was unconscious.  If Dowd wants to editorialize that “You know how bad the situation is when the president's choice for attorney general has to formally pledge not to support torture anymore”, she should do a thirty second spot for Aljazeera. 

Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Arlen Specter returned to planet Earth for five minutes during the Gonzales hearings and posited the "ticking bomb" dilemma to three anti-Gonzales academicians: Douglas A. Johnson, the executive director of the Center for Victims of Torture; retired Rear Admiral John Hutson, former Clinton-administration Judge Advocate General and now dean of the Franklin Pierce Law Center; and Harold Koh, former Clinton-administration lackey and present dean of Yale Law School. 

Specter simply asked if there was, “ever an occasion to even consider torture”...”if it was known...that an individual had a ticking bomb and was about to blow up hundreds of thousands of people in a major American city....”  Even a RINO like Specter can figure this one out. 

But from the esteemed gallery of rocket-science boys came the focused answer...Duh...Abu Ghraib...Duh...Abu Ghraib...Duh...Abu Ghraib...Abu Ghraib...Abu Ghraib....  It’s almost inspirational to know that liberals care more deeply about the “rights” of Islamic terrorists than the lives of American citizens.  Perhaps they would be willing to restrain their daughters for the pleasure of a rapist so the poor felon didn’t get his face scratched. 

The most useful information the liberals have provided through their opposition to the confirmation of Alberto Gonzales is the near certainty that America can’t win the war on terrorism.  Despite their talk, liberals don’t want to beat the terrorists because they aren’t willing to grow up to the realities of terrorism.   

In the liberal mind, terrorism is like poverty or a failed education system.  If the problem was ever solved, they wouldn’t have a purpose in life.  Liberals love quagmires and there is no better quagmire than sitting in a pile of your own bull.


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