Hark! The Herald Idiots Sing
December 9, 2004
During an estrogen-deprived episode, Maureen Dowd summed up her feelings on the birth of Christ, “...I can't stand Christmas.” Continuing her hate-speech-laced harangue, she concludes by declaring a jihad against Frosty the Snowman, “Yep. I definitely need to rip Frosty's face off.” As a concerned intervener, may I strongly suggest that Maureen spend some time surfing the National Institutes of Health’s dedicated website “Menopausal Hormone Therapy Information”.
Liberals seem to hate everything...except the destruction of America. The President is a devil, traditional marriage is an entrapment conspiracy, unborn babies are better served by the rotating blades of macerators than by loving families, men who want to be wives are superior to men who want to be husbands, all religions except for Islam stink (especially Christianity), dead American soldiers are preferable to ass-whooped Islamist insurgents and...Christmas is a humbug, but “holidays” are fine. "Are there no prisons?" "Are there no workhouses?" ...Oh, the sweet sound of Ebenezer Scrooge!
Ah Yes...the Christmas season is upon us. Can’t you just taste the joy in the air? The Downtown Denver Partnership, which sponsors Denver Colorado’s “holiday” parade, forbade a float in the parade that would have included carolers and a "Merry Christmas" sign. Parade officials rejected the float, citing rules that ban religious displays. The Downtown Denver Partnership did, however, allow a float sponsored by Two Spirits, a Native American group that considers homosexuality to be holy. I assume that the Partnership also allowed Christians to purchase Christmas presents from “holiday” friendly stores.
At Maplewood, NJ's Columbia High School, music director Nicolas Santorro wrote a memo admonishing music teachers to “...avoid any selection which is considered to represent any religious holiday, be it Christmas, Chanukah....”, in choosing music for the holiday concerts. The 40-member brass band must restrict its “winter concerts in December” playlist to such nonsectarian numbers as "Frosty the Snowman" and "Walking in a Winter Wonderland."
In previous years, when the band performed Christmas carols as instrumentals (no singing)...School District Superintendent Peter Horoschak said the district received complaints that the band had played notes with religious overtones. "If you're familiar with the tune, you know the words," Horoschak said.
Undoubtedly, Maplewood, NJ is intervening on the public’s behalf to avoid another James McGreevey-like scandal. According to Maureen Dowd, “It's a scientific fact...that Christmas music can turn you into a fruitcake.” And...NJ certainly has its share of “fruitcakes”.
Speaking of fruitcakes, if you drop by your local “holiday” bedecked Target store to buy some of that “holiday” confection, you will notice the unnatural silence. Target Stores has banned the Salvation Army from setting up their red kettles and bell ringers in front of all Target locations this “holiday” season? Many shopping malls throughout the country have a similar ban on Salvation Army bell ringers. Which leads one to wonder....
If there is no Christmas, no Christmas music, only “holiday” gifts for sale and no Salvation Army...what “holiday” are we shopping for as December 25th nears? Perhaps it’s the 1918 birth of former Egyptian president Anwar el-Sadat who was born on December 25th? Really, if there is no Christmas, who are those guys dressed-up like Santa Claus sitting in the nation’s shopping malls? Are they encounter session moderators from NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association)?
2000 years ago, Christians stood around and prayed for their enemies while they were fed to the lions in the Roman Colosseum. As much as I would like to be a good Christian...I am imperfect. I will not sit idly and pray for Target Stores’ earnings. Nor will I pray for the earnings of any other retailer that will not acknowledge Christmas in plain English. No Christmas...No Shoppie.
Crazy bureaucrats in places like Maplewood, NJ ban Christmas instrumentals because “If you're familiar with the tune, you know the words.” Yet, even crazier elected officials in places like Hamtramck, Michigan grant unanimous City Council approval to allow the Muslim call to prayer to be broadcast on loudspeakers throughout the city five times a day in Arabic. In the disbelief of Ebenezer Scrooge, “I'll retire to Bedlam.”
The hypocrisy is beyond the pale. Communities host “Holiday” parades to warm you up for spending your Christmas bucks. Department stores and shopping malls, festooned in “holiday” charm, deny Christmas but want your Christmas dollars. And elitists like Maureen Dowd actually proclaim that they “...can't stand Christmas,” while they take outrageous paychecks generated by Christmas advertising revenues. Are we starting to get it?
Even the U.S. Postal Service wants your Christmas business but can’t choke out the word “Christmas”. The USPS has a Kwanzaa stamp, an EID stamp commemorating two important Islamic celebrations, an Hanukkah stamp and a Lunar New Year: Year of the Monkey stamp...but no Christmas stamp. The closest you can get is an Holiday Music Maker stamp, an Holiday Ornaments stamp or a Madonna and Child stamp. But no Christmas stamp.
There is a very informative website, Grinchlist.com, that lists Christmas-unfriendly and Christmas-friendly retailers. Its 2004 list is under construction, but its 2003 list is available for viewing. If you are in the market for Christmas presents, it only makes sense to buy them from retailers that support the “Christmas” holiday...not the “Holiday” holiday (whatever that is).
I’m off to do a little Christmas shopping. I’ll just ride to the sound of the Salvation Army bell ringers. If this secular assault on Christmas is not trounced, “God Bless Us, Every One!”
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