A Little Dirty Water
December 25, 2003
How about asking Santa to keep your water clean?
Simple concepts are sometimes the least obvious. Is it ever a good idea to mix “a little dirty water” with a bottle of clean water? Is it ever good to find “a few insects” in your dinner plate? Will 8 to 12 million lawbreakers improve your community? Is good never degraded when mixed with bad?
Case in point...”The bottom line is, as a country, we have to come to grips with the presence of 8 to 12 million illegals, afford them some kind of legal status some way.” Hey, Secretary Ridge, they already have “some kind of legal status”...they are “illegals”. I hope this guy doesn’t stay awake at night taxing his brain about the “status” of other “illegals” like rapists, robbers and con artists.
And speaking of con artists Secretary Ridge, other than making a bevy of immigration lawyers, cheap labor junkies, labor unions and politicians happy, why should American citizens garnish their meatloaf specials with a few bugs?
Oh, I see, “...the government might consider legalizing the status of illegal immigrants already in the country on a one-time basis”. And after “the one-time basis”? “Then, as a country, you make a decision that from this day forward, this is the process of entry, and if you violate that process of entry, we have resources to cope with it.” But I thought that the 1986 Immigration Reform and Control Act was billed as a “one-time” amnesty. Is there really a Santa Claus?
This time around we’ll get it right. Despite the tomes of unenforced immigration statutes already in place and the billions of dollars misspent on a politically correct, but worthless, INS, this time we’ll get it right. And if we eliminate all present Social Security recipients on a “one-time” basis, next time around we promise not to rob the trust fund dry. We’re listening but not buying.
Well, what about the argument that the illegals supply needed labor and pay taxes. If it’s all about the money, why not just empty the prisons and let American illegals supply labor and pay taxes.
In this secular holiday season, it’s good to remember that there’s a difference between giving and getting got. Sharing your clean water with the thirsty is a far better thing than everybody drinking from a dirty cup. What does that mean? Simple...illegal behavior does not get rewarded.
Granting “amnesty” to illegal aliens because there are so many of them makes about as much sense as a “one-time” emptying of our prisons to solve overcrowding. There’s a good deterrent. Oh, I forgot, there is no deterrence...only rehabilitation. So...amnesty must be some form of immigration rehabilitation. Let’s just make sure to have a bilingual publicity campaign on this...we can preemptively rehabilitate every soul even thinking about illegal entry.
Let’s not confuse being anti-amnesty with being anti-immigration. There is a wide gulf between an orderly immigration policy in the national interest and an immigration fiesta akin to rushing the field after a South American soccer game. Playing Tooth Fairy to illegals is as palatable to the broad spectrum of U.S. citizenry as drinking from the Rio Grande.
Well, what the hell...since the INS has a permanent amnesty for not doing its job why not show some secular holiday spirit to all illegals. Let’s make a list:
- A one-time amnesty for all 9/11 terrorists.
- A one-time amnesty for all GITMO “detainees” (the Ninth Circuit Court is working on this).
- A one-time amnesty for bin Laden (although Clinton gave him multiple amnesties).
- A one-time amnesty for the Iraqi 52 Most Wanted Deck.
- A one-time amnesty for Terry Nichols.
- A one-time amnesty for Timothy McVeigh (whoops...too late).
- A one-time amnesty for Michael Jackson (maybe a 2 or 3 time amnesty).
- A one-time amnesty for all tax cheats (no penalty, no prosecution and no tax due).
- A one-time amnesty for Enron, WorldCom, & Qwest (and they can have their tax refunds).
- A one-time amnesty for Dennis Kozlowski’s appearance in that toga.
- A one-time amnesty for Muammar Gadhafi (or did Reagan already rehabilitate him).
- A one-time amnesty for Michael Moore’s stupidity (this time he gets a brain).
Handing out amnesties for the Twelve Days of Christmas is more fun than the Clinton Doctrine of selling pardons. Speaking of the Clinton Doctrine, maybe next Christmas we can grant one-time amnesties to all bosses who grope employees and for the sodomitic consumption of tobacco in the Oval Office...or has that already been granted. Keep your fingers crossed that some Federal Court Grinch doesn’t preempt this program with a 2004 ban on Christmas.
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