MARTHA - AIN'T - TALKING DOT SPIN
LIE DU JOUR
June 9, 2003
So the diva of nouveau kvetch has taken the offensive with the launching of www.marthatalks.com. Modern-day Mommie-Dearest-Martha comforts that the purpose of the website is to, “…keep in touch with you in the weeks and months ahead.” To which a Stewart spokesperson adds, “It’s Martha Stewart wanting to keep in touch with people who care about her.” In Martha’s corn pone (with truffles) world where form always trumps function, marthatalks.com is another “bought and paid for” marketing triumph serving up bull chips as an elegant entrée for the faithful.
Too bad it ain’t Martha talking. Consistent with the rest of her marketing empire, the Martha name is just adding a bit of panache to the creative work of other people in marthatalks.com. A WHOIS search of Network Solutions domain name database lists Citigate Sard Verbinnen (CSV) as the website’s registrant. Don’t fret, CSV isn’t a secret vintage aperitif, but it is from Martha’s private stock and for her benefit.
CSV, a New York based wholly owned subsidiary of the British Incepta Group, bills itself as a public relations firm that, “works at the nexus of investor and media relations, maintaining close relationships with financial journalists, financial analysts and the investment community.” Among its fortes are, “senior advisors who remain actively involved, sound and realistic strategic counsel, high-quality writing and skilled implementation of agreed-upon plans.” What about keeping in touch with Martha’s loyal fans?
CSV is a hired-gun PR firm that “works with clients and their legal advisors to develop communications strategies surrounding sensitive securities and other litigation. Our approach involves a thorough understanding of the dispute and litigation path, strategies for managing outcomes, drafting materials and educating key constituencies.” Martha has retained the firm. Heck of a way to stay in touch with her loyal fans.
Well-respected public relations guru, Bob Dilenschneider, estimates that Martha will “spend $1 million to $2 million on her personal PR campaign” that is designed to “confuse the issue”. In the PR world where form is the substance, Dilenschneider adds that Martha’s approach is “…orchestrated. It’s planned”. Shazam…Martha’s recipe for salvation…pay somebody to make me look good…surprise, surprise, surprise. There’s more of Martha than loyal fans in this scheme.
Without missing a beat, marthatalks.com, the CSV registered website, immediately begins confusing the issue. In the “Open Letter” to “My Friends and Loyal Supporters” the supposed Martha cries that, “the government has decided to bring charges against me for matters that are personal and entirely unrelated to the business of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia…I simply returned a call from my stockbroker”. Maybe Robert Blake should plead that the charges against him are entirely unrelated to the television show Baretta…he simply pulled the trigger.
The government’s securities fraud charge against Martha tells a different story. On three occasions the government alleges that Martha and/or her lawyer lied about facts solely, “in an effort to stop or at least slow the steady erosion of MSLO’s (Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia) stock price caused by investor concerns.” In other words, the government is contending that Martha lied numerous times in an effort to manipulate MSLO’s stock price. Screwing your investors who might be “Friends and Loyal Supporters” is not a good thing.
And then there is the Leona Helmsley defense. Martha’s attorneys suggest that perhaps she was indicted, “…because she is a woman who has successfully competed in a man’s business world by virtue of her talent, hard work and demanding standards?” Or perhaps the O.J. defense might work, “Is it for publicity purposes because Martha Stewart is a celebrity?” Hey loyal fans, maybe little Martians are trying to capture the quiche monopoly?
This case has nothing to do with celebrities or sexism. It has everything to do with the crimes arrogant people commit in pursuit of greed. To allege conspiracy because Martha goes to court while WorldCom’s Bernie Ebbers goes free is akin to demanding freedom for Terry Nichols because Osama bin Laden still walks the earth. The magnitude of a crime has no bearing on innocence or guilt…just the punishment. And…you can bet your croissant that both Ebbers and bin Laden will face their days of reckoning.
Martha, through the retention of CSV, is attempting to morph the justice system into a “thumbs up-thumps down” Roman Coliseum tribunal. Even though CSV would like to believe that they can “manage outcomes” for a fee, the country is better served by leaving this outcome in the hands of twelve jurors good and true…even if those jurors never ate quail eggs in a $500,000 “picnic boat”.
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