Tawana Brawley Times Two
Only In The Land Of Oz
February 13, 2003
And just when you thought the horrible misogynists responsible for the imaginary defecation orgy of our femme fatale, Tawana Brawley, had receded into the insignificance of history, their miraculous reincarnation sprouts wings in the guise of a Southwest Airline’s flight attendant.
White Southwest flight attendant, Jennifer Cundiff, reverted to ante-bellum southern lingo when, in an effort to humorously get some passengers seated on flight 524, she let lose the infamous racial slur, “Eenie, meenie, minie, moe; pick a seat, we gotta go.” It was not reported if she was wearing a KKK robe and hood at the time.
Luckily, there were two modern day Simon Wiesenthal’s of the Thought Police aboard the flight to hunt down this lily-white purveyor of hate and bring her to justice. Grace Fuller, 48, of Lenexa, Kan., and her sister Louis Sawyer, 46, of Merriam, Kan are both black and, notably, both from the Land of Oz.
Sawyer said, she was “infuriated by the comment,” and said fellow passengers snickered at the rhyme, which further made her feel alienated. As we all know, in her malicious subconscious, Cundiff was really saying, “Eenie, meenie, minie, moe; catch a n---- by his toe.” Fuller felt that Cundiff’s comment insinuated that, “It was like I was too dumb to find a seat.”
In an action reminiscent of the Inquisition, the sisters Fuller and Sawyer brought suit in the US District Court for the District of Kansas. The intrepid and honorable wizard, U.S. District Judge Kathryn H. Vratil, found that, “The court agrees with plaintiffs that because of its history, the phrase ‘eenie, meenie, minie, moe’ could reasonably be viewed as objectively racist and offensive.” Graciously, the honorable judge agreed that, “The jury, however, must decide whether Cundiff’s remark was racist, or simply a benign and innocent attempt at humor.”
Why not just take Cundiff out and lynch her from the nearest tree?
After all, over a decade ago, poor Tawana Brawley fantasized that she had been abducted and raped by six white law enforcement officers after being discovered in upstate New York covered with feces and racial slurs written in charcoal. No matter that the court threw her case out in 1988 when a grand jury determined that her story was not credible. Or, that in 1998, a jury found her three advisors liable for defaming one of the accused. All that really maters is Tawana’s persistent claim that her story is true. I think, therefore I am.
As a result of the verbal vitriol spewed forth from Cundiff’s lips, Fuller, who has epilepsy, was so traumatized that her hands shook. All of that shaking must have caused the “unexplained memory gaps” she has about the flight. Additionally, Fuller claims that her “Eenie, meenie, minie, moe; catch a n---- by his toe” fantasy caused her to have a “grand mal seizure” on the night of the horror and was bedridden for three days. As a result of not having health insurance, she did not seek medical attention. The millions of uninsured who frequent hospital emergency rooms in this country and the laws that give them the right to do so must be a mirage.
For her part, the offending Cundiff feels, “offended that because I have white skin suddenly I am a racist.” She maintains that, “The statement I made on Flight 524 was not racist or discriminating.” With the audacity of the innocent, Cundiff asserts that, “Maybe those that run around pointing fingers yelling racist should stop and turn that finger around.”
In a fashion worthy of Nazi finger pointing at Nuremberg, Cundiff insists that she had used the rhyme on other flights after learning it from co-workers (Southwest attendants are widely known to be humorous on flights). In an on-going cover-up, Southwest stonewalled that it does not believe the phrase is racist, will not reprimand Cundiff or ban further use of the rhyme. My God, it is an institutional conspiracy.
At present, the sisters are seeking that Southwest ban the further use of the rhyme and that Southwest provide employee training to prevent such things from happening again. Oh…almost forgot…the sisters are also seeking the always present and less self-righteous “unspecified compensatory and punitive damages”. Some may call that the “get-rich-quick” money.
Although, Southwest is presently the sole corporate defendant in the case, a quick search of the Internet hints at a future for these sisters on the scale of the tobacco litigation bonanza. Nothing less than Crayola Crayons, Valley General Hospital, MacSpeedZone and Navicache.com are presently bantering variants of this rhyme about in the public domain. There are multiple other instances of this iambic pentameter bigotry being dispersed in the dotcom sphere. Why not roll up these co-offenders into a massive multi-case national litigation?
More to the point, Mary’s little lamb with its fleece as white as snow, Snow White’s dwarfs and the nations White House should all be exempt from First Amendment protections. These are all manifestations of the imbedded culture of institutional racism in America. Now that I think about it, was American Airlines trying to subliminally suggest that native Americans are dangerous when they installed red emergency exit signs on their planes? Have to go call my lawyer before I have a memory lapse from this trauma.
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