The War of the Cabbage Patch
Consumers To Be Drafted
December 3, 2002
Hey you Nazi, moron, American pile of dung…why don’t you go home and leave us alone!
Such is the collective wisdom coming from the cabbage patch nations of Germany, Canada and South Korea.
These nations reign supreme among the world’s most U.S. dependent snotty-nosed ingrates. They also reign supreme in the delusion of some jingoistic sense of autonomous pride. As if, in the absence of their life support from the United States, they would be anything other than serfdoms of potent realms. Pathetically, though, they are just special needs children playing in their own urine-drenched sandbox.
In the stratosphere of high-level international diplomacy, these three nations are not yet ready for training wheels.
When it comes to great allies, Germany is living proof of a friend not to have. After decades of draining U.S. taxpayer pockets for the billions necessary to defend the German people against the aggression of the former Soviet Union, America’s thank you is a poop-in-your-face backhand from German chancellor Gerhard Schröder and his Social Democratic party. In a request for some help waging our war against terrorism, specifically Iraq, the head of the former Nazi nation spits, “…we’re not available for adventures, and the time of cheque book diplomacy is over once and for all.”
Not to be outdone by her boss, the SheWolf of the Schutzstaffel, Herta Daeubler-Gmelin, Germany's former justice minister compared President Bush's methods to those of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler.
Hypocritically, and in true Goebbels’ fashion, this (crack)pot called the kettle black, “Herta Däubler-Gmelin said that the US president was using the possibility of an Iraq war to divert attention from his domestic problems.” Not to mention that it was her party and her chancellor in a hotly contested election battle who crucified the United States and President Bush for personal political glory. What the hell, Germany prays at the alter of deception, “If you tell a big enough Lie, and keep on repeating it, in the end people will come to believe it (Josef Goebbels)”.
In their self-righteous egomania do the German people ever ponder their contributions to the world? They did treat us to two world wars replete with previously unimaginable barbarism. And…the Germans did accept over $200 million in aid during the Berlin Airlift that cost over 30 Americans their lives, just so that we could keep their hineys and kraut warm. And, of course, Germany has given the world the Bader-Meinhof gang and the Green Party.
Most amusing is the duplicitous talk that emanates for German leadership at once condemning terrorism and simultaneously sanctioning the trade in weapons of mass destruction technology to Iraq, Iran and any other fundamentalist murder with a few bucks…I mean Euros.
Take the case of German engineer, Karl-Heinz Schaab. Schaab was arrested and tried for selling Iraq the blueprints for a gas centrifuge capable of producing weapons grade uranium. Sales price…$1.5 million. Although his offense was the sale of military secrets to an enemy, he was in fact convicted of "violating export laws" and sentenced to 11 months probation. Deutsche Marks talk, sauerkraut walks!
Turning to our little friends in the Korean peninsula, we find a case of American hating and victimization based on a simple accident. As reported by the Associated Press, “About 700 activists burned an American flag and demanded the U.S. military leave South Korea after two U.S. soldiers were acquitted of negligent homicide charges in a traffic accident that killed two Korean girls.” The New York Times assures us that, “The activists promised a wave of demonstrations that they said would go on "until justice is done.”
While accidental death is never pleasant, accidents do happen. A 50-ton armored minesweeping vehicle crushed two South Korean girls. The vehicles communication gear malfunctioned making it impossible for the commander to warn the driver that the girls were crossing the vehicles path. This was an accident and not a reason to hate America. Of course, the families of the girls have accepted over $300,000 (U.S. taxpayer money) as damages.
Yet, this tragedy has become the cause celebre for a gaggle of self-serving politicians and ignorant brattish students to hate America for the sake of hatred. U.S.8th Army public affairs officer Lt.-Col. Steven Boylan states, “There are many anti-American organizations here in Korea and they would use any incident to further their goals.” If it were not for the over 100,000 American casualties incurred defending these future pinheads during the Korean War, many South Korean ingrates would be goose-stepping in Wizard Kim Jong II’s dark empire. A few winters of frigid starvation might help them appreciate their microwave ovens.
One wonders if those anti-American organizations are Samsung or Hyundai…but back to this in a moment. First, we must turn to the great north landmass sometimes called Canada.
O’ Canada, that landmass euphemistically referred to as a nation, what hell hath you wrought? Prime Minister Jean Chretien’s communications director, Francoise Ducros, recently called U.S. President Bush a “Moron”. This coming from an official of a nation whose greatest claim to fame is an open invitation to all international terrorists for a foothold in North America…the Gateway to destroying the United States.
Hey, Mlle. Ducros, why don’t you worry about Canada’s biggest problem…any Canadian with a brain is seeking their future in America. Now that it’s the holiday season even Mlle. Ducros could hide in a Christmas tree truck and hop over the border. On second thought, let her stay exactly were she is.
There is a very interesting Internet site that answers all the problems these international America haters have, The U.S. Census Bureau’s Foreign Trade Statistics site. And…even a Canadian moron can get a wakeup call there.
For the first nine months of 2002, Americans bought $37,265,000,000 more of Canadian products than the American exports we sold to them. For the first nine months of 2002, Americans bought $9,192,000,000 more of South Korean products than the American exports we sold to them. For the first nine months of 2002, Americans bought $25,015,000,000 more of the German products than the American exports we sold to them.
Yea, all of this red ink should have Americans seeing red. In addition to pumping these “nations” full of Yankee wealth, spending $billions in providing them with national security defense umbrellas, allowing their citizens and illegal aliens to use out nation like a rest room, listening to their incessant whining, American now has the privilege of being hated by those who use us so eagerly.
You, my fellow Americans, are drafted into the army of consumers who can win the war of the cabbage patch nations. The next time you even think of buying a Snowmobile, Jet Ski or outboard motor (Ski-Doo, Sea-Doo, Johnson-Canadian made by Bombardier), an automobile (Volkswagen, Audi, BMW, Porsche, Mercedes-Benz-German made) or home electronics (Samsung-Korean made)…think again.
As consumers, your pocket is your weapon and your dollars are your ammunition. Unless you enjoy sadomasochism and bondage-degradation games (Oh Mommy, I’ve been bad, spank me!) there is no reason to pump your hard-earned wealth into cabbage patch nations that hate you and your country.
There is a twofaced argument made by the leaders of these nations that they don’t hate Americans and that the anti-Americanism is the grumbling of a minority expressing free speech. That is their problem. No cake and eating it too…you are either for us or agin us. The hatred of Americans by these nations is our problem. The quickest and most effective solution is in your everyday grasp. Just say no to their products. During World War II would you have purchased Eva Braun jeans or General Tojo tennis shoes…all in the name of style?
If our President, and, by default, all Americans are a bunch of murdering Nazi Morons, then we really don’t deserve the products of Germany, Canada and South Korea. I, for one, am too smart to pay my money to those who despise me and pray for my destruction.
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