Daschle Rides The Marrakesh Express
Post Democratic Derailment
November 29, 2002
The best news about a train wreck is that when it’s, it’s over. Not so with the ongoing crack-up of the Democratic Party. The Jackass ChooChoo is the little train that couldn’t, can’t and never will. But that isn’t stopping ex-chief engineer Daschle and perpetual caboose chooch Gore from trying to make chugs out of slugs.
Perhaps the best reason the Democrats have for losing elections is eux-mêmes (themselves). With their post election performances, the Dems are chiseling in stone any lingering lack of perceptual acuity the public sentiment may have charitably discounted. But, the Party of the Jackass continues to parade delusional, irresponsible and dishonest wannabe leaders. In truth, they are just a bunch of spoiled brats for whom arrogance, lies and hypocrisy has become the double-edged sword of their own demise.
Starting at the back of the train, we find the ever-amorphous caboose chooch, Al Gore. “I believe that if everyone in Florida who tried to vote had had his or her vote counted properly, that I would have won,” Gore said in a Washington Post interview. This talk is as crazy as Goebbels suggesting that America would have never supported a war against the Nazis if it weren’t for “that Jew-lover Roosevelt”. In all fairness, there might be substance to Gore’s belief since the weighty Tipper continued to ramble, “I still believe we won.”
It’s not that Gore is a bad person, it’s that he really is not person enough to know what he is. Vouchsafing that he and his family prayed together after their 2000 defeat so as not to turn bitter over what happened, Gore immediately does a 180 and continues to bad mouth the President…I mean George W. "Our country is headed for very deep trouble," Gore told Time magazine. "I wish it were not so, but I believe that with all my heart. I think that our economic plan has zero chance of working. I think that it is wrong at its core. I think that our foreign policy, based on an openly proclaimed intention to dominate the world, is a recipe for getting our country in some of the worst trouble it's ever been in." Bush, Gore exaggerates, has compiled the worst economic record since Herbert Hoover.
Well…no sour grapes there.
Moving up to the head of the train, we find ex-chief engineer Tom Daschle with his head in a cloud of post collision smoke.
In a classic example of “who-done-it”, Daschle blames a presumably Republican fringe group, like the Senate Republicans, for the woes of the nation, “Obviously, there was a lot of work left on the table in large measure because the far right chose not to allow it to be enacted.” Good job Tommy…blame some unidentifiable bad guy…”the far right”. I bet you wrecked the train because a mystery dog ran out onto the tracks.
Mommy warned these boys in the 1960’s that they could suffer flashbacks from using too much LSD.
During a moment of soul-cleansing contemplation, Daschle rants, “If entertainment becomes so much a part of politics and if that entertainment drives an emotional movement in this country among some people who don’t know the difference between entertainment and politics, and who are then so energized to go out and hurt somebody, that troubles me about where politics in America is going.” Wow, Tom, that must be some pretty heavy shit your smoking.
When it comes to the fusing of politics and entertainment let’s think about Streisand, Baldwin, and MTV. It was not a Republican who played the skin flute…I mean the saxophone for the American people. Let’s think about who supported the SIX MILLION DOLLAR Democratic fundraiser hosted by the shrill Streisand. A short list included Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Ben Affleck, Maya Angelou, Marilyn and Alan Bergman, Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, Michael Douglas, James Gandolfini, Wesley Snipes, Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, Goldie Hawn, Sally Field, Whoopi Goldberg, Christopher Reeve, Anjelica Huston, John Travolta, Kevin Spacey, Annette Bening, Warner Bros. COO Alan Horn, former studio boss Mike Medavoy, comedian Richard Lewis, and actors Alan Cumming, Ed Begley Jr. and Sally Kirkland.
Or, as Peggy Noonan so aptly pointed out, “Please, please, get some Hollywood writers to send you wonderful funny lines and jokes. That's what Al Gore does. His wit comes from Hollywood and New York.”
But in Daschle’s world the Democrats are above pandering to entertainment…purists that they are.
No, what Daschle must have meant were the far right terrorist entertainers like the hip swingster Rush (Notorious) Limbaugh. “What happens when Rush Limbaugh attacks those of us in public life is that people aren’t satisfied just to listen,” Daschle fumed. “They want to act because they get emotionally invested. And so, you know, the threats to those of us in public life go up dramatically, on our families and on us, in a way that’s very disconcerting.”
If the politics-entertainment concoction is disconcerting, just ask Mark Wellstone what emerges from a witch’s brew of politics, entertainment and eulogizing. Never let it be said that the Democrats would project politics and entertainment from the grave.
But the real threat is foreign. “You know, we see it in foreign countries and we think, 'Well, my God, how can this religious fundamentalism become so violent?' Well, it's that same shrill rhetoric, it's that same shrill power that motivates. Somebody says something and then it becomes a little more shrill the next time. And then more shrill the next time. And pretty soon it's a foment that becomes physical in addition to just verbal. And that's happening in this country,” Daschle prophesied.
That’s right Tommy. All of your problems and the Democrat’s problems and the country’s problems are undoubtedly resultant from the foment of the fundamentalism from the right. You have no complicity in the train wreck. Squinting through your Gange-like delusions makes it hard to see reality. You never tried to divide this country along class, racial or gender lines for political gain. You never tried to mix politics and entertainment for political gain. And you would never use that l'enfant terrible, talk radio, for political gain.
Just take another toke and keep believing yourself to be pure while you mention that, “We were just talking with some experts a couple of days ago about how, if we're going to try to break through as Democrats, we have to have the same edge that Republicans do.”
They just don’t get it. Dishonest people never do and the delusional never can.
Politics in this country, as a result of the Democrats, had been getting dangerously close to becoming hateful propaganda. Honest Republicans had to hide like fugitives because they are labeled as “far right” or “fundamentalists”. The Democrats invaded every arena of the citizenry’s personal life with legislation on how to act, what to say and what to think. And all the while, they robbed hard-earned tax dollars from the people they were trying to subjugate. Daschle attacked the “far right” special interests while failing to mention that his wife is one of the most highly paid lobbyists for the airline industry. Which has frequent business before the Senate. Hmmmmm.
In an effort at compassion, I offer a little lullaby to soothe the disconcerted nerves of Daschle et al because in the end…we should all be just Friends:
So no one told you life was gonna be this way
Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A.
It's like you're always stuck in second gear
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year….
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