Fashion may be about newness, but apparently we can't stand it when something looks too new.

We like our clothes worn out before we put them on our backs.

Fabrics are pre-washed and grayed; designers slash gaping holes in the knees of jeans and fray the hems.

To the Fashion Victim, clothes need only look cool.

But if a garment can create the illusion that it's functional as well as fabulous, all the better - think cargo pants with their multitude of pockets, or shirts with hoods with the sole purpose of hanging behind the neck.

Ralph Lauren offers an army-green cargo bikini with pockets at the hip – for toting beach grenades, perhaps?

Former Filipino First Lady Imelda Marcos once famously defended herself by saying: "I did not have 3,000 pairs of shoes. I had 1,060."

Surely, that included more than one pair of black pumps.

A Fashion Victim's must-haves include multiple sneakers (for running, walking, shopping, going out, jeans) and multiple pairs of black pants (wide-leg, skinny-leg, fitted, baggy, flat-front, zipper, button-fly, pleated, wool, stretch, rayon, linen).

When you buy a designer's clothes, you're also buying a lifestyle. Our favorite brands can sell us practically anything - hand cream, lipstick, dishes, candles, duvets, music.

But don't assume they're made by that famous name.

Liz Claiborne holds the exclusive license to design and produce DKNY jeans. Procter & Gamble - home of Noxzema and Oil of Olay - also holds licenses for Hugo Boss, Giorgio and Helmut Lang fragrances.

We might like to think how we dress is an extension of how we see ourselves.

But, more likely, it's how we want others to see us.

The validation of a Fashion Victim's stylishness comes not from a peek in the mirror, but from a photograph in a style section or even a random compliment like, "You look great!"

It's not enough for Fashion Victims to dress themselves in designer clothes - they often feel it necessary to share their impeccable taste with those who can't defend themselves.

So they dress their kids in mini-me lines like GapKids, Diesel Kids and Prada Kids, and outfit their pooches with high-priced beds, collars and leashes from Hermes, Louis Vuitton and Prada.

Few of us have ever taken a hit on the rugby field, but that doesn't stop us from dressing like those robust, rugged lads and wearing shirts from J.Crew and Polo Ralph Lauren.

To the Fashion Victim, Timberland boots are as ideal for digging through CDs at the Virgin Megastore as they are for hiking through Montana.

When Ja Rule wears Burberry's signature plaid in his videos, he provides the company with a free ad that reaches millions without ever uttering the word Burberry.

Wearing a logo like the unmistakable Nike swoosh or the Polo horseback rider is like wearing gang colors.

Just as the Bloods and Crips brandish red and blue bandanas, the Fashion Victim wears the designer logo as a proud badge of membership.

Fashion glossies like W and Vogue regularly feature young butterflies like Alexandra von Furstenberg, Aerin Lauder and the Hilton sisters mugging for photographers.

The Fashion Victim devours the photos with delight, knowing little about who these people are - except they're in a magazine, they're rich and they're incredibly well-dressed.

Selling clothes doesn't always require actually showing them.

Abercrombie & Fitch's magalog, the A&F Quarterly, raised eyebrows with photos of tanned, all-American dudes and dudettes with zero clothing – a buff naked guy holding a film reel, a couple wearing nothing but body paint.