Birds of a Feather

October 28, 2004

Well, “Old Blood and Feathers” is at it again.  In a move designed to get the Bush campaign’s goose, John Kerry has given final proof that he is the most despicable weenie in Presidential campaign history.  Please note that I did not call him “human”...that moniker is reserved for non-weenies. 

In a much publicized photo-op, Kerry disappeared into the swampy brush of Ohio and remerged two hours later screaming the “body count”... "Everybody got one, everybody got one," said Mr. Kerry, his hand stained with goose blood, though he was the only member of the hunting party not carrying a carcass (Wilgoren, NYT).  As you read this, Kerry is writing his “after-action” report and recommending himself for yet another Purple Heart. 

What manner of political eunuch would kill an innocent waterfowl for a photo-op?  The question begs itself...the same manner of eunuch that would disappear into the jungle to kill pigs and chickens for a photo-op!  

From Unfit for Command, “With Kerry in the lead, the boats approached a small hamlet with three or four grass huts. Pigs and chickens were milling around peacefully...Kerry beached his boat directly in the small settlement...Upon his command, the numerous small animals were slaughtered by heavy-caliber machine guns... Kerry disembarked and ran around with a Zippo lighter, burning up the entire hamlet.”  "Everybody got one, everybody got one," said Mr. Kerry. 

Personally, I’m getting tired of John Kerry trying to be a man on everybody else’s dime.  Kerry’s career as the Great White Bwana also includes a Rambo-like deer hunting fantasy.  From the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, "I go out with my trusty 12-gauge double barrel, crawl around on my stomach. I track and move, and decoy and play games and try to outsmart them. You know, you kind of play the wind. That's hunting.”  The only thing Kerry ever outsmarted by playing his games is a couple of heiresses in need of a gigolo. 

Included in the definition of a decent “human” (real men included) is the need to be honest about oneself.  When you look into your soul (which weenies lack), you are either: (1) happy with what you see or (2) correct what you don’t like.  But, damn it, at least be honest...be yourself.  You might figure that President Reagan taught this lesson enough times to have it sink in. 

Even Maureen Dowd had to admit that Ronald Reagan, “...never overcompensated on macho posturing, thinking that blowing away a flock of birds in borrowed camouflage for the cameras...would give him more brass.”  When Reagan went hunting at James Baker’s Texas ranch, Dowd recounts that, “President Reagan came back proudly empty-handed. He didn't want to shoot any small animals.”  

As a lifelong gun enthusiast and sportsman, I am insulted by Kerry, a lifelong opponent of the Second Amendment, killing an animal for the sole purpose of co-opting my vote.  All real gun owners, sportsmen and sportswomen should be equally insulted.  Any real (and I stress the term “real”) sporting person respects nature and her creatures.  Killing for a photo-op is beyond the pale...it is cowardly. 

Lesson #1 from my earliest youth was, “If you kill it, then you clean it and eat it.”  And, personally not enjoying the taste of “game dinners”, means that I have no reason to kill.  I do, however, enjoy a day of fishing or hunting with responsible sportspeople and have no problem coming back empty-handed.  I also have no problem with the productive results of responsible fishing and hunting.  But, then again, I have no lies to mask. 

Kerry’s latest safari is nothing but Horse Feathers and Duck Soup.  It is a troubling comedy and a dark one at that.   

Kerry’s “Feathers for Votes” fiasco is indicative of a person without soul or conscience.  It is the desperation of a narcissistic and amoral coward.  Killing to promote a lie is the moral equivalent of raping to feign manhood (or mask a lack thereof).  Next, he’ll slap Teresa around to prove he really wears the pants.  

Yet, in Florida, Kerry claimed that, “...my faith does give me values to live by and apply to the decisions I make.”  What “faith” is he talking about?  A faith that kills pigs, chickens, geese and unborn humans (for votes) but spares homicidal pedophiles and rapists the death penalty (for votes)?  What is this...the Church of Political Expediency? 

If you really had a conscience and you really believed in God, could you really kill for a lie and not fear Karmic retribution?  I don’t care if you’re a Christian, I don’t care if you’re a Buddhist and I don’t care if you’re a Native American...Kerry’s little goose hunting stunt is the antic of an empty soul.  It is the witness of a person (in name only) who sees his mortal ambition as the last highest calling.  I’ll be anybody you want me to be...for the right price. 

And, speaking of the right price, I really wanted to take a shot at John’s fine feathered mate, Teresa.  With an annual income of over $5 million, she somehow paid a 12.5% effective tax rate.  However, I’m out of time.  Like President Bush, I paid in the 30% tax bracket and, unlike Teresa, I have to get to Walmart before it closes and buy some underwear.  Or will next week bring us the “Feathers for Votes” sequel...”Teresa Does Walmart”?

 

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